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Old Mar 15, 2018, 12:01 AM
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leomama leomama is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
Quote:
Originally Posted by giddykitty View Post
Oh I get it totally! I'll write more tomorrow because my eyes are droopping. But yes, or rather I'll say I'm stuck in the middle here with some folks criticizing my behavior and some loving it. I think I value the critiques more though, so I'm trying to get help, plus I know for fact I suffer depression and am damn sick of it...at the same time, I'm worrying about what my "real" personality is. My moods are what made people fall in love with me. What if they don't like the new me afterall??! Well, I am hoping the important ones do, but again, I'm kinda stick in the middle.
Ahh, I'm not sure if I'm helping. I guess the lying part was a different group. I liked those people too, except for the lying and they ended up not liking me, so was I crazy?? In the wrong place?? So, in that sense, I can understand your pain. Ok, so, guess I answered.
I wouldn't say people were criticizing my behavior but they were criticizing stuff that didn't need to be criticized. I think the most frustrating thing is feeling like I don't have control over my own destiny and I can't stand that. Like I know my real personality, its serious, perfectionist, dry sense of humor, focused. In some ways I don't really think I'm suited to my job but I also got some really positive feedback today but the ironic thing was it didn't ease my frustration.