Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat
Sorry Mouse I’m sure I’m not explaining it well.
Ever have a misunderstanding with a t but discussing things only makes things worse and worse and leads to an even bigger misunderstanding or bigger breakdown in trust? That’s how I see the difference between a mild disagreement and a rupture.
In my case... “I need to feel loved in therapy to do the work”
T might say ....”that is a phrase I never use with patients”
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So the rupture is a reaction to what the T said?
I guess I dint react in that way. I'd work with the T to understand why I need it so much and what can the T do that can help me feel secure within the relationship still.
If a T didn't use the word love (which I can understand) it's about working with that. That is the work of therapy.
Dysfunction in foo is where ruptures happened. Where one learnt to react if one didn't feel they were getting what they needed and the dysfunctional foo would either bend to that reaction or draw a harder red line. It was emotional blackmail.
Therapy is there to help find better ways to negotiate.
To work through.
That's if the T is knowledgeable. If they're not. Then all that's getting rehashed is old foo (family if origin) stuf and theres no way any growth can come from that.
I couldn't operate in an environment like that.