Nothing got better, except briefly during yoga. I ran so fast and so hard the my chest felt like it was going to explode, and then I kept going. I was doing something wrong because people were looking in horror at me as I went by them on the track. Paranoia? Dunno.
Today's a new day. I've been awake an hour but I wish I had a magic Off button I could press. I'm not mentally able to help my parents lately and they hold it against me like it's my fault that I can't. I do lots of things they never notice like dishes and floors and counters... I do cook sometimes too. When Mom decides to light into me verbally one time I can't stand as much as the thought of them for days, because she's behaving as she always has, making me feel inferior and more of a nothing.
I'm going to double the gym trips today, maybe, even though the woman I like will be there the second time. I'm not sure she likes me at all and that bothers me. Yet, how can anyone like me? I don't much.
I could stay gone all day today the first class ends at noon, giving me until 5:45 for the second class. Shower and get dressed, 30 minutes. Eat, library, walk. This could do me some good. I'll plan to be gone all day