I am married now for 22 years but when i was younger in my 20s, im 57 now, i would fall head over heels in love with different guys. There was one special one who loved me so much he asked me to marry him 2 times but i really did want to marry him, i declined because i knew i had some serious emotional problems and was afraid to bring him into my sick world. Well years later i became stable on my meds and met my husband and married him, after having a child out of wedlock, i was engaged to my sons father first although he was an alcoholic. I am happy everything is the way it is now, my husband is a great helper and understanding of my illness, i feel like a burden although. I know he does not see me as a burden but i feel that way anyway.