First a and I hope your day will be full of wonder and positive things. You are inspirational and your words are therapeutic, thank you for sharing.

I find it to be awful as well. I am stuck in a vicious cycle of what the therapist, CNP and psychiatrist think is best for me and though I am the one in the rabbit hole...no one is listening, I don't think they see me. It makes me very afraid because they are my only hope of finding the right dosage of the many combinations of meds and therapy if there is such a thing....but I press on. I wasn't always like this and perhaps, just perhaps a miracle will come along and rescue me or at least help me through this with minimum scars.

I respect you on the highest level and applaud your courage to come forth with your story. It has impacted my life profoundly and I ponder the options. I am more mindful of my surroundings and situation as well of others to include the medical professionals. Most of my therapist have shared with me how they are survivors of suicide or how they were impacted by a love one taking their own life.

I hope and pray that some small part of my experience will be beneficial to someone else, to be the positive example of what pressing on results look like, to serve a purpose. I hope.