And I do realize that while I think like this: "But how do you compromise in my situation? It's too extreme. For compromise I need to learn to kill all human need in myself for connection with others, yes?"

...it will remain bad. But how do I change this view? I mean, I don't even know what's going on. I mean, many people do manage to make connections fine and can deal with/tolerate issues in the relationships if they start cropping up a bit. I either view this wrong or I really do lack some essential skills for people and for emotions (that I can never develop). I DON'T KNOW WHICH IS TRUE?