Excuses lol...? I've been trying at this for 6.5 years. I made a list in an earlier post in this thread about a few of the things I've tried in these years.

I'm familiar with CBT but it doesn't solve the actual problems, it can only change your way of thinking but sometimes the actual situation is what needs ot be changed.

Quite honestly, your post made me feel even more pain because it reminded me of how long I was trying with positive and constructive thinking. I am so sick of all that by now. My resources are exhausted.

Otherwise, yes, I am aware that I am negative and it does feel self-defeating because of the exhausted resources.