I've been living on SSDI since 2000, after my last suicide attempt. I was hospitalized twice that year but had more attempts that were not reported. Ever since then I have been a caregiver for my grandmother, uncle and mom. Everyone has passed and I'm alone. Well, in my area the oilfield is booming with everyone making $80k and more a year while I struggle to live on my government check. But now I'm almost 58 years old and an introvert. So with my issues I don't see how I could ever try to work again and risk losing my SSDI and Medicare. It's a dilemma and is constantly on my mind. Just feel so worthless with no future and beginning to question why I'm here. I have no clue or desire to do anything anymore.