Dear Piaf,

I think you are so practical you might dismiss this, but I feel like there’s some sea change in the air for me. Except for a few hours earlier this week, it’s been a good week. I’m having conversations with strangers I don’t need to have conversations with. Today I hugged a stranger (my cousin, but not someone I knew). I feel like I’m doing really well at my job. I got (unofficial) word that my promotion will come through. I’m not wondering if I’ll ever have a partner again. I can see I’m getting better at writing, though I need to carve out more time for that. I feel well-exercised and healthy, like my body is up to anything I ask of it. And my mind, which has often felt sluggish the past few years, now feels like it’s really clicking along, so I feel like it too can do anything I ask it to (well, maybe not advanced mathematics). I guess it’s best described as, I feel alive. For the first time since at least a decade ago, I think.

I’m kind of worried going to see a therapist tomorrow is going to break the spell, since all this has happened since our last appointment. Telling you all this might be a jinx.

ATAT