hi jay. im straight, as far as sexual preference anyway. i mean usually... okay fine some chick are hot but anyway...
you shouldnt beat yourself up about it. i know it doesnt seem ideal to be gay, especially with the whole american dream being about family and white picket fences.
i know a lot of successful gay people though. there are plenty where i work because we support a diverse workforce. and they are fine with it. we dont have very many closed minded people there because the job (social work) requires us to take everyone's perspective into consideration.
one of my son's friends has gay parents.... two men. they adopted these two brothers, they live in a comfortable home, they attend school functions together, etc.
you just gotta give yourself permission to be yourself. maybe you will find out that you were confused and really straight, maybe you'll find out that you are gay....
some people will not like it but all that matters is being true to yourself.