confused, I'm really worried you will do something that will cause you to lose custody of your kids. Of course, your health is most important, so if you are going to harm yourself, then definitely go to the hospital. But if you can hold it together, do not go to the hospital as this will affect your ability to retain even shared custody of the kids. Your H and his lawyer will use this against you.

I am upset at your therapists because it sounds like they are not being supportive and instead are forcing you to do trauma work and are thus destabilizing you. Tell them you cannot do this right now! How would your T's feel if their constant pressure on you pushed you over the edge and made you lose custody (or harm yourself)? Wow, not too helpful, right?

If possible, can you do these things?

1) Lean on lawyer to get husband out of house. Tell him that husband is emotionally and verbally abusive to you and you need him out. He can file some kind of restraining order with the court, if the other lawyer is uncooperative. Do not move out of your house! Of course, as sky said, if you need to move out for your safety, then do so. (But if you do leave, make sure you take the kids.)

2) Make sure your H knows that you want to share custody of the kids. Then maybe he won't be so difficult. You are not trying to take the kids away from him. As soon as H is settled in his own apartment/house, the kids can spend part of their time with him. It is really important to reassure him on this so he doesn't go on the offensive so much with his lawyer. Going into hospital would label you not only as an unfit parent but could be construed as abandonment and will make it much harder for you to retain custody.

3) Now is the time in your life you really need to pull it together. No drugs. No alcohol. No self harm. Do it for yourself. Do it for your kids. Get support from your T!!! See him more than once a week if need be for SUPPORT only. No delving into the past into traumatic material that will add to your stress and destabilize you.