So, about 6 months ago... I had it rough, I mean was really low on my luck.

I was living in a house with 6 other individuals, no washing machine, no shower, just took bird baths in the kitchen sink everyday.

However, I found a guy on craigslist who was willing to give me a ride to work, I paid him $100 a week. It was all dangerous but I had no choice. And remind you I am a female.

However, the dude turned out to be really nice but really weird at the sametime and I think he was an alcoholic because he would be very amped when he picked me up and I would smell the liquor reeking. However, I had no choice because I had to go to work to make money to save up so that i can get a car, and finish my online course to become a Medical Coder.

However, I am now feeling really low about a situation referring to my hygiene. I'm starting to think that the guy maybe thought I smelled and thinking back I probably did. I'm thinking he probably smelled after I ejected from the car, although I never smelt myself... and I wasn't just flat out dirty, I did birdbaths, but the house I lived in had an odor! Then there was a guy at work who liked me and harassed me all the time, but I feel as if he was throwing hints that maybe I had an odor. In which I probably did... but I know that that's not who I am originally, like now, that I'm in a better place I'm at my best now. I just feel bad, and maybe like everyone viewed me to be a bum. I just was down on my luck, my family is toxic, and i'm the scapegoat... im the youngest out of 6 siblings, they all have good jobs and businesses, were extremely spoiled growing up because of their dad. But my dad is an alcoholic, and my mom just never cared too much. I was always depressed and lost in life. SO I moved out to try to better my life and find myself and lord has it been a challenge. I lived in a semi abandoned home with 6 other people, I left there and slept in my car for a month until I got a good job last month and I moved into a nice apartment and feel really good.

But I feel like people will always be able to throw up the time when I didn't have anything, when I was a bum, and etc.

I feel trapped in my own mind.