I'm not quite sure what I want with this post... maybe hear if anyone has had similar experiences or advice in general...

I am a person that usually cries a lot. I am sad a lot, and then I usually cry if I am alone. In therapy I used to also cry during most sessions (apart from maybe the first few months when I didn't really know my T yet). Since I have a lot of issues letting people get close to me, it used to be quite often that I would cry when telling T about something, but I wouldn't really feel sad... not sure whether that makes sense, but I couldn't feel the sadness, even though I was crying. I can recognize emotions when I am alone, but much less so when other people are around.

Recently, for the last maybe 5 or so sessions, I have become more aware of the feelings that are going on while I'm there. Before I could mostly recognize fear, but nothing else, now I can feel almost any emotion I get while in session. And of course we usually talk about it too. However, for about the same time, I have a very difficult time crying. I can feel that I am hurting, and I feel like crying, but I can't. By that I mean I can sit there and do everything that you would do while crying, but there's no tears anywhere... which is really unpleasant, and I usually get frustrated by this.

I have talked to T about this today, and he was understanding and of course also mentioned that it would be okay to have tears... but that didn't really help either.

I guess I am wondering whether somebody else here has ever experienced first being able to cry very easily with a therapist, and then suddenly not being able to anymore. And whether that ever got better again.