thanks for the response ... I have a very good relationship with my pdoc ... I am the only patient he has that can call him and get doses and new meds from him without seeing him ... I know what it takes for my mind and body to respond ... the fear factor , the side effects and the cost limit me some what ...

I am completely stable .. sleeping fairly well ... anxiety under control 95% ... xanex for other 5% ...

I hold civil conversations with people ... I no longer "rage" over "things & people" ... my eating is fairly under control (some emotional binging) now and then ... and I am able to work with out getting mad at myself or others all the time ...

yah I am missing the " smell the roses" from my life ... but all in all I am happy to be where I am ... it is a hell of a lot better than where I was 2 years ago ...

thanks for the comments ... I love all you guys ... Tigger .

just that "springtime" rant I guess ...