I'm 45 male who has been married for 7 years. Wife and daughter are good and marriage is generally happy.

I've been obsessed with pantyhose since age 14. I would often wear them and obsess about pantyhose pictures in catalogs and with other girls wearing them. As time went on I did some experimenting with crossdressing in my 20s but didn't follow up with it much once I hit 30.

During this time I my 30s I was also heavily involved in porn and would spend hours wearing pantyhose and watching porn. Once I got married the porn obsession died off but I do find myself on occasion looking at modeling and non nude videos that cater to pantyhose fetish.

So I find myself wanting to wear pantyhose more often and wanting to do some crossdressing again. Wife knows about my past with pantyhose and crossdressing but is not in favor of it and thinks it's wrong.

Ideally what I'm looking to do is take some occasional time myself to crossdress and wear pantyhose. When I've done this in the past it leaves me feeling satisfied and fulfilled for a few weeks until I desire doing it again. I don't desire to be transgender or dress full time publicly.

I do however have to keep it private and will be unable to share this acitivy with my wife.

Advice appreciated when spouse disagrees with a particular fetish like mine. How far do you take it and want have you done?