dear SS, I used to feel a lot like what you're describing quite a bit of the time...it's awful, it seems like all you touch turns bad or that all your decisions are wrong. I don't feel that way too much anymore, but I still struggle at times to make sense of my circumstances and I too sometimes want to "run". At least you've got some supportive friends...(something I never had) I encourage you to hang in there, if for no other reason than to just see what happens next...please feel free to pm me if you like