So, responding to you, FallDuskTrain, and wolfgaze here:

Here is the analogy with my expectations...before I got sick, before my MI knocked me down, I was like Divine described. Busy all the time, accomplishing loads of stuff. Highly accomplished in my field, working towards big goals, training for an Ironman, hanging out with friends, still dancing professionally from time to time, just going gangbusters on everything I wanted to do...

So think of this: if you were a professional athlete, who was suddenly paralyzed, and spent a few years that way, and then medical science cured you so you could do everything you wanted again, but all your muscles atrophied, but your brain is telling you that you can pick up where you left off, but you can't, because you don't have the physical endurance or stamina anymore...that's where I am, and that's where my expectations come from. I get that it's unrealistic to think I can just jump in. I have to build back up my stamina for the kind of activity level I want.

I am doing some planning this weekend to figure out how to prioritize. The PhD program doesn't start until FAll 2019, I just need to get my application done by the end of this fall, and in the meantime take the few pre-reqs I need. I found out I don't need to retake the GRE, yay. As for work, I just need to accept that I need to pace myself for now. I am working in specific time blocks to work on my art and go to meetups during the week to be sociable.