I've read that SSDI can be withdrawn or denied if a patient doesn't adhere to "reasonable recommendations" made by the caregiver. I've never applied, so I'm no expert, but this seems possible. For example, a patient is recommended to use crutches but chooses not to because they're unattractive or cumbersome, or he wants to go dancing and crutches get in the way, or his family just finds them inconvenient, and, as a result, his disease progresses. As my pdoc says, "I can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped."

I mean, I experiment with meds, too, so I get it, but I don't do it in secret...and there's a risk that when I re-start meds, they won't work as well (or at all), or the condition has progressed and requires reevaluation. My physicians know exactly what I'm taking at all times and are quick to respond if I display mood lability. Also, my experience with bipolar (45 years, since age 20) is that I have sustained periods of high function -- once 2 years long! -- in between crises and hospitalizations, so for me the risk is worth it. I also take feedback very seriously, including internet feedback. How on earth would my pdoc know how to treat me if I'm in a crisis and can't communicate (and this has happened before), and he has no idea that I've discontinued my daytime meds? IMO, I owe it to myself and my loved ones to manage my condition responsibly.

I hope you're doing better now!