Hi Leaf123 ,

I am truly sorry for your pain , as a teenager and trans , what you are going through is called Gender Dysphoria , as described in the DSM-5.

In the past it would have been described a Gender Identity Disorder ( DSM-4 ) , however last year the WHO ( World Health Org. ) demanded change in terminology , because what we are going through is NOT a disorder.

Yes I did say WE , me too , I am trans MtF and just identify as trans , as I have not taken any step to transition ( HRT / upper & lower surgery ) , not sure if I ever will because of my age.

My dysphoria comes from a long time of not being true to myself.

Last Sept. 27th I told my therapist I was trans. Until then I could barely think it , but I built up the courage to tell my T and have since taken acknowledgment that I was born in the wrong body. I wish I had done it sooner , but at least I did it , and I did it for me.

So you , being dysphoric in your wrong assigned birth sex , is the pain you are feeling.

Some people just don`t get how it feels to be gender dysphoric , and unless you are , it is very hard for anyone to truly understand the emotional turmoil we go through on a day to day basis.

The only ones that are not trans and can understand are trained therapist and doctors that deal or have understanding of the needs of the transgender person.

I understand your reluctance to tell anyone , so let me tell you about how I told my therapist.

I when in for my app. and said " T , I must tell you something" , she said ok . so I went on about alpha males and how most men are truck drivers and hunters and super masculine , and I told her that is not me. I when on to tell her I would rather go to a tea party than a hunting party , of course by this time I was shaking like a leave , and she kept telling me to calm down , trying to keep me grounded.

Anyway , when I had laid it all out , in the open , my head was spinning. She asked if I was all right , I told her actually for the first time I feel almost prefect. She asked if I would like to share more and I did.

To make a long story shorter , the next day when I woke , it was like waking up to a new life , and all I had done was tell someone.

I can imagine what you are going through , PM me anytime you need to talk , I will be here for you , because I understand.

Please trust me , what ever therapist or doctor ( I would suggest a therapist first , as my doctor still does not know , he will soon when I go for my check-up ).

Just be easy on yourself . We will talk again , but understand you are perfect , you are just going to be better than perfect

Take care

Keyplayer