After several days of not sleeping, I've slept for 2 days in a row now and feel a lot better. Or by better, I mean normal for me.

However, I had been just on the cusp of a euphoric hypomania and now that's been crushed. By sleep I suppose. I know I 'should' be happy to be 'normal' again, but I must admit I'm very disappointed that the euphoria was not able to take flight. I know what comes afterwards, I know, and yet I was just starting to feel it and the 'drug' cravings for that were so strong. That's why I stopped the Seroquel, or in part. But no good. I started to sleep again.

I'm feeling down and not quite sure why. I guess I feel 'boring' again, my old self, which is only the shadow of my old old self (pre-medicated) when hypomania was periodically a part of my life and all that that entailed, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want the good, the great, the on top of the world. And it's eluded me.