How do you lie to him? I mean, that is new. I don't remember you saying this and I couldn't find it on the first two pages of this thread.
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You mean this?
Quote:
I was selfish and sneaky when I got tested on chlamydia and did not even mention it. And I was careless about STDs in my past...
The way he found out about my past... how I was talking about it... stammering... often giving answers that would make him feel as if he had to double check. (Ok, she said x, now does that include y?)
I did lie to him. He asked me weither there was anything left I would be afraid or hesitant to tell him. Next day I confessed one more thing.
The day he gave me the key for his flat I lied to him and he asked it back and wanted to leave me. It was an unasssary lie. He asked me what a doctor had said about one of the STD I got tested on. I wish I had said: "Don't get this wrong. I feel hesitant to tell you, because I don't want you to think that I am using that doctor's opinion as an excuse. And I don't want to hurt you. But she was playing down how important it was to get tested on that particula STD." Instead I said: "Sorry, I can't recall at the moment".
And he feels as if he can't rely on me. I would put some of this down to miscommunication. But anyway. I see that I did mistakes.
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So did you 'lie' because you didn't mention to him you got tested for STDs once?
Or did you 'lie' because you didn't 'confess' to him all the things you are ashamed about you did and you know he would judge you for?
You really think those are lies?
What about saying: "Let's not talk about the past. There are things I did that I regret and there is no point talking about it as it will only hurt us both."
For example, after having sex for the first time, would you then suddenly quiz your partner on how many sexual partners they had, exactly everything they think they remember about each of them. About if you were better just now as the best sex they had before that?
No!