Hi Christine. Speaking from my experience, it took me many months to finally want to quit drinking for good. It messed with my meds i was taking and none were working for me. Not one med i took helped in any way. I was the same as you. I drank whatever i had or stopped at the store to get that day. And i drank it all till i past out.

It has been so hard to stop. I've messed up a million times. There was a few months there the most i could go without drinking was only 2 or 3 days. Cause i would start getting bad stomach pains and just feeling like total crap. So i'd drink again to make that pain go away. Now that its been 27 days since I stopped, I still have strong urges and temptations to drink. Just this past weekend, where i live we celebrate Mardi Gras. So hanging out at a parade with friends who were all drinking was pretty rough for me. Thank goodness for me my drunk friends are also a support for me. A few times that day i said, i give up, im drinking and one of them would say no, dont do it. They talked to me and got my mind on something else.

If your ready to stop drinking. Stop. Come meet with us here in chat on tuesday nights for recovery chat. I know it always helps each one of us by participating in this chat. It's a support group for addictions.

I'm not that crzay about going to AA either. I've gone to two meetings. The first one i went to triggered me badly. Then I tried again going to a differnet AA meeting. It wasnt so bad. Everyone there was very nice. I'm sure i will go back again. I'm just not ready to do that yet. But i do have a very good friend who is working the steps with me. She's helping me more than she will ever know.

Maybe you could find a friend where you live to go with you to the meeting. If not, try going on your own. They wont bite your head off there. Heck, i sat out in my truck and smoked cigarette after cigarette till it was 7 on the dot. I was so nervous and paranoid. Then i made myself get out the truck and go in.

I wish you alot of luck and hope to see you next tuesday in Recovery chat. Take care.