Sometimes I wonder about my diagnosis. My grandma was recently diagnosed with "manic depressive disorder" by the IP doctor. (He didn't use the word "bipolar," but I think that's because he's in his 70s and a little stuck in the past. lol.) That kinda makes me wonder if I have it too. (I was diagnosed with BP a while back, but I've always fought the diagnosis until recently.)

I also have piss poor memory. Like, I've had severe depression before with suicide plans, but sometimes I don't remember any of that. Sometimes I think that I don't want to remember that. However, my therapist has to remind me that she's seen me looking extremely depressed. She also has to remind me when she's seen me manic.

My medications finally work. If I go off them, I become manic and my therapist sees it, and she sees the crash afterwards. Sometimes you just have to give it time to find the right medication, and it really sucks because sometimes it takes us years to find something that works, all while everything gets worse.