This isn't really an "in-session with current t" thing, but I was finally able to talk to the guy, "D", from the mental health unit in the nearby hospital who met with me after my attempt 19 years ago. I am just now being able to process what happened. D goes to the same church as I and I have only ever had a handful of conversations with him outside of the hospital. He and my H have always been comfortable talking, both while I was in and out of the hospital and years later. (His family and our family are on the schedule to serve lunch after church together so there have been lots of opportunities for D and H to talk). Today was the first time I've really spoken to him.

I asked this guy D if he remembers when he first met. He said, yes, quite clearly and he talked about that first session. I don't know what the feeling or emotion is that I am feeling after being able to thank him for all that he did, but I know it is a good emotion. During that first session in the ICU, D had me draw a picture of something to look forward to, and I told him today that I had realized that goal from the picture. He helped me so much during subsequent hospital visits. One time a pdoc told me and everyone (as in the other patients) that I was faking it because a doctoral student cannot have major mental illness. This pdoc even discussed confidential aspects of my case with my roommate in my presence. Then this guy D brought me forms to complete to formally lodge a complaint against the pdoc and gave me encouragement!! He helped me the time I was in the hospital and demanded that I get out and refuse to take the meds. D was a calming influence then. I'm glad I had the chance to thank him. I think it was healing in a way.

D said that he wasn't really sure what our relationship had been over these two decades because he always hangs back when he sees a former patient and lets the patient make the first move. I always figured he hung back because I am overwhelming. I learned something new today.