Sooooooo I started to crash yesterday, I don't know if it's the ativan causing depression or just the fact that i've been high since the beginning of march, back and forth anyway. I don't know. I just wish this all would stop. I've given up, really. I'm so depressed today. And I had a really great time with my date last night, I have every reason to be happy about my life right now. But it's like my brain is like actually, **** you for thinking you're allowed to be happy about anything. Here's some depression to kick you in the face.

I'm going to see if I can get on the cancellation list for my pdoc for this tuesday. It worked last time I was having issues. Otherwise I only have a week left of school and then it's spring break so I think I can make it. And perhaps this depression is a one day deal and I'll be back up tomorrow. But I don't really want that either. I just want to be stable. Haven't been since I stopped Invega. Btw I'm going to ask to go back on Invega. See if that will help stabilize me. It worked so well before. I don't even care about the side effects at this point. I'll just stay with an endocrinologist and take meds to combat the high prolactin. IDGAF.

sigh.