Hi Everyone,

First off I want to say that I am starting up counseling for my anxiety on Thursday but I guess I joined up for support and reassurance from peers and experts until then. My friends have been helpful but I think it would be nice to get perspectives from people with objective points of view.

I am extremely aware of my anxiety and until recently I thought I had an okay amount of control. But I have been anxious all my life. The past 9 months have been awful in my self doubt regarding self worth, friendships, relationship, and work. The incident that I want to share is regarding my relationship.

My partner is INTJ and I am INFJ- I guess two rare personalities drawn together. For the most part- we are very compatible but since I am the emotional one and he is extremely not- emotional we have a hard time seeing eye to eye on matters of the heart...which triggers my anxiety.

A few nights ago we were walking home from dinner and he was talking about having this woman he met on the bus a year ago and how we should invite her and her boyfriend over from dinner. To give a little background history- when they first met (she was still paired) he said that she was hitting on him. My instinct is well that isn't cool or okay. However let me define hitting on....to me that means sexual advances. Not innocent talking ,laughing flirting. So when he told me that I wasn't sure how to respond.

I asked him "So...if she's hitting on you, that means I can say something right?" I didn't even think about it, it just came out. He said he felt the comment was insecure and shocked by it. He said I should get to know her for myself and that it should be up to the sole party to draw the boundary of what is inappropriate or not. We dove into the conversation about boundaries and insecurities more and he stated that he forgot that people have that insecurity and he dealt with it a lot time ago.

I guess I want to know from others, how terrible was my comment? Is that being possessive?

I know my partner would never cheat on me. He isn't like that but I guess I felt his response was insensitive to my feelings. I tried asking him what his idea of hitting and flirting was but he said they were one and the same. So I am guessing that means none-sexual advances. Either way I don't know what is going on in his head but again his response just made me feel like I was out of line or crazy.