I know this sounds odd. I keep track of things that have changed since my husband died. It’s as if I’m making sure I know what to tell him when he comes back.

I know he’s not going to come back, but obviously some part of me is not accepting it.

And it hurts every time something big changes. I don’t want things to be different. I don’t want things to change. I want this city to stay the way it was when he was alive.

I want everything the way it was.