I don't know what words to use to describe how I feel right now, but lonely, worthless, and incompetent are heading in the right direction. Last week at work I did a project, with permission from my manager, and the results were awesome. Today, I get to work and everything was undone because someone else didn't like the project. Five hours of my time wasted.

I've already been feeling pretty down lately, but this just made it worse. If we had universal health care, I would have walked out this morning. I like my job, but this petty crap isnt worth it anymore. I want to pull my hair out, throw away all my stuff, and just stop for awhile. Stop everything.

For the past two years I've been working hard towards thinking that as long as I'm doing my best, I don't have to feel bad about things that don't work out. Buy my best doesn't make friends, my best doesn't bring family back, my best doesn't pay the bills, my best doesn't clean the house, my best doesn't mean my boyfriend of 5 years wants to marry me.

I see people everyday who are horrible people personality wise, who are married, have kids, have friends, etc. I think I'm a good person. I do my best to be, and it's one of my main goals in life. Why am I not good enough for my boyfriend? Why am I not good enough to reproduce with (not that I want to bring a child into this mess)?

What did I do to deserve feeling like this? What did I do to deserve feeling so alone?