It's very strange to me. I'm freaking out a lot over something incredibly small.

So I wanted to buy something I found cool but I honestly had no need for it. and it was kind of useless, sure it'd make me happy but I wouldn't need it.

so I just didn't buy it and all but I just loved it a lot and kept watching youtube videos about it learning about it etc.

and I have no idea when or how it turned into this but I like to mention that my gf did buy the thing I wanted cause she kinda liked it too (nowhere near as much as me though. Although she could have just not showed it as badly as me) and stuff.

the thing is now, I'm incredibly sad about it. I keep wanting it while I don't even am interested in it anymore. I'm just "supposed to buy it". I don't even know what's wrong at this point. It's just I keeep thinking about it so much, I'm so sad and down and numb, I just wake up staring at the floor being so emotionless and numb, I think clearly this has to be more than just wanting to buy something wrong? I was thinking of actually buying that thing maybe it'll help me? just to get rid of my obsession, it's like 500-600$ which is possible for me but will keep me on a very tight budget for a while.