Oh I hate when MC would push the topic, because he would seem so judgmental about it--especially when he'd talk about us taking our daughter to taphouses and stuff (tons of people take their kids there!). Or when he talked about how when they had their daughter he decided to start drinking less to set a good example for her. (So...what are H and I exactly then?)

And I guess I felt a bit...judged when I brought it up last time with T because he said he maybe has a glass of wine a week and no one in his circle drinks very much. But he explained, when I brought that up later, how he was trying to say that what we're surrounded by is what seems "normal" to us. So to me, if I hang out with lots of people who drink, then it seems the norm to me. (I'm doing a horrible job of explaining this...)

At one point, a couple years ago, I asked MC if I could possibly be accountable to him about it. And of course he said no (I know, I need to be accountable to myself...but that's not working). And he was very anti putting any sort of label on it. When...sometimes I think I need labels.

T seems into coming up with more concrete solutions, so hoping he can help me with some sort of actual plan. We spent one session a few months ago talking about it (including basically giving a full history of my relationship with alcohol--one of the few times he took notes), but I think it needs to be discussed again. My favorite line from that session was when I was confessing that I'd had a drink before session (something MC had been very judgmental of when I mentioned it), and T replied, very matter-of-factly, "Oh, I just assumed you had."