Dear greystreet,
I am really sorry you feel that way. A Breakup is a horrible thing. Please, please don't put yourself down like this! Something very painful just happened to you. You don't have to make yourself feel as if you deserve to feel bad! That is actually what you are writing.
But it is not true! Why would you deserve to suffer and be miserable?
You mentioned that you did wrong in the past. I think the point here is that you see your faults and that suggests that you have changed. And after all. We all do mistakes.
And I am sure not everyone hates you. I definitely don't!
I know there is always a special pressure on round birthdays. Don't put it on yourself. If you feel like it invite a few close people.
I really wish I could write something that could offer more comfort. I send a big hug to you!