SilverTree, it sounds to me like you never fully processed the event. This is a common problem with trauma so you're not alone. When you started talking about it, all those raw, unprocessed emotions came flooding back. It doesn't mean you're crazy and nobody should think you're anything less for having that problem. The truth is, that's just how the brain works. It tucks trauma away so you can function in the short term but the side effect is that when the events come up again, the emotions are fresh and painful.

The best way to deal with PTSD is to get the help of a therapist. They can help you process the trauma in a safe way. They can also help you manage your relationships during the process.

Good luck to you and be safe.

Cyran0