It comes with practise. I am so glad though that you tried.

It sounds to me like you are having trouble coping with frustration and irritation. I wonder if having a physical object to direct these feelings towards might be helpful. Perhaps something to play with and occupy your hands. For a time I used a weight on my shoulder and upper chest to calm my nerves. I made it myself out of a 2lb bag of beans and a tube sock. It was very soothing and helped me cope with in my case anxiety.