Yes ma'am it's me... thank you

I've missed a few chances I think because of my relationship problems 🙁

Start liking a girl, she seeming to be into me, then bam... I **** it up by freaking out..

Feeling like they are lieing to me.. withholding stuff from me... using me just because I'm too nice and am an ego booster to them... then they leave and never talk again like I'm a monster.. I never mistreat them or curse them out or argue, but it depresses me so much cause I already know they are gone and it's over and that no ones gonna fight for me like I have tried to fight for all of them..

I dunno why it keeps happening. I know it's probably because I don't trust well.. and feelings of trust and developing attachments provokes fear and anxiety and pain..

I just don't know where I go wrong everytime. Just hurts a lot to keep trying.. cause it always happens and causes so. Much pain...

But I am ok.. I'm just lonely, and alone, and I want to fix everything. Fix myself and my life

Tired of being afraid all the time, it's just not fair... why did they have to make me like this? 🙁

It's ok though... maybe I don't need anyone right now.. maybe for the best sigh

Just wish it didn't hurt

But I am ok.. I am just more expressive of my inner pain and world online. Sigh, which I meet most people I would consider a friend online and trying to talk to girls online so it's like they never get to see my shell, the guy facing the world, but the fearful inner boy