T today. Doing two separate posts--one with the more amusing, lighter stuff from the session, and one with more stuff related to the discussion about drinking.
First, the lighter, non-drinking post:

T today. A good session, though there were a series of awkward/embarrassing moments. I ran into him in the lobby by the elevator. He said hi, that he was going to take the stairs, which made me feel slightly awkward. (At first, I was like, maybe he didn't want to be alone in the elevator with me, then thought for a second, and realized he's alone in his office with me for an hour, so...maybe he just likes taking the stairs.) While in the waiting room, I noticed I had something on my pants, and was trying to wipe them off right as an older guy in the waiting room was leaning right near me to get a magazine. I mumbled, "I'm trying to wipe something off my pants."

Went back and sat down. Started making small talk as I picked up my plastic bottle of Perrier and began twisting off the top...and it promptly started exploding, water spraying everywhere. I laughed, embarrassed, and apologized, and he said, laughing, "Better on the floor than in your purse!" I said it was just water, not soda or anything. I said I don't usually have issues with these, just the lemon-flavored ones. He shared his "best exploding drink story" (it involved a freezer and forgotten sodas), and I shared one of mine.

I said I had a list of things I could talk about but wasn't sure which to work on. He looked curious and said, "OK." I pulled out list, adding that I only had two because one had leftover stuff from last session. That I had a thing or two I kept shifting from list to list. He said it could be something I'm avoiding. I said either that or it's just less important. He agreed that could also be it.

I said how one was about my daughter's IEP (individualized education plan--special supports at school to help her because she's on autism spectrum) meeting the next day, but I suspected that would be canceled due to snow. I still talked about it for a few minutes--I suspect he's fairly knowledgeable about such meetings because his son is on the spectrum (he's careful to not really talk about him though--it came up in an early session because ex-T had told me, and he said he doesn't want any of my knowledge about his son to affect me or what I talk about in session).

Discussed that a few minutes, why the meetings are stressful for me, how I had panic attack/crying in one right after I'd found out MC's wife had died. He said how it was common, but that teachers/team members remember the angry parents, not the sad ones. I said how it's also hard for me because I tend to focus on my daughter's deficits when they discuss her, while H focuses on her strengths. T asked if that's kind of a personality difference between H and me, and I said yes, that he tends to be more optimistic, while I'm more pessimistic (T did not look surprised by that).

I picked up list, briefly mentioned that I could talk about some odd dreams I'd had (fleetingly mentioned one), but wasn't sure that was the best thing to focus on right now. I said I had thought the IEP, but now that was less of an issue because of likely meeting cancellation. He said, "So are you good on that topic for now? Do you feel we addressed it enough?" I said, "For now, yes." He said, enthusiastically, "Good job! You get an M&M!" I laughed and said I guessed he was trying positive reinforcement. He laughed and said yes. (Note: I did not in fact get an M&M.)

I said I guessed what I really should talk about today is drinking, that I'm still drinking too much--see next post for this conversation. [Talk about drinking.]

One more slightly awkward moment: Near the end of the session, he looked at me and said, "Do you want a Band-Aid?" I was like, "Huh?" He pointed to my hand and said, "For your finger." I looked and noticed a tiny amount of blood by my pinky nail. "Oh, I didn't even realize it was bleeding! I'm good, thanks." I grabbed a tissue and held it on the finger (it was my left hand, but was still concerned he wouldn't shake my hand in case the other hand had touched the blood. He still shook my hand though.)

Wrapped up about the drinking thing, what next steps were--list why I wanted to stop/cut back, maybe some goals, plus what I'd lose by stopping/reducing alcohol. Confirmed Friday session, scheduled for next Tuesday. Went over, paid, he said he'd heard from someone that it was getting slippery out there, so be careful. I asked how late he was working because I knew weather would get worse. He said not too late, but he has to "pay the bills." He shook my hand, said, "Be careful walking." I said, "You too," and headed out.