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Old Mar 21, 2018, 12:53 AM
Anonymous45127
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SalingerEsme View Post
I do agree there is something that shouldn't show about how he kind of wants my type of case almost like to demonstrate he is a top dog trauma t new to the city.

I dont think he would have given me all that care and attention otherwise, and for some reason, it hurts deeply to sense that.

I appreciate you extracting that from all the rambling comments. I just hurt over this relationship ,but I dont know if that is because of my "trauma demographic" or because something is wrong.

I am so attached to my T. He has lots swagger and wit and cleverness. He also can be very loving in the right places, pouring in a steady stream insight and perception that feels like a hug despite the no hug rule( which I am thankful for that rule).

The main thing is that after every session, I feel bereft and he doesn't think that is his problem,becasuse I feel safe inside his space and inside his session. That is kind of the crux there - I envision a more wholistic relationship and he doesnt. Cinderella/pumpkin; C ya wouldnt want to be ya.

Am I just a brat about the typical therapy rules or is he rigid about boundaries or both. He is very proud he has the most strict boundaries of all the psychologists he knows ,and he challenged me isnt it good for me and dont I feel safe in his space. The answers yes and no.The whole session was a lecture on why he is right. I finally just walked out.
I don't like your T, sorry. I'm of the view that trauma clients need flexibility, not rigidity. I don't like how he seems to be pathologising you, you are a whole person, not a bag of symptoms.

Also he doesn't seem to be working collaboratively with you (just my feeling, I could be way off) to contain material outside of session during the last few minutes of your session. There are grounding techniques that help make it less likely for trauma material to seep out in between sessions.

Here's one: http://safehaventherapy.com/blog/containmentskills

Mine works directly with me to contain stuff, to ground, reminds me to carry the connection out of session etc so I leave grounded and not bereft most of the time. Of course there's times I leave bereft and it took a long time to be able to "carry the connection outside" but it's getting less common and definitely not nearly every session like your case.

Also some therapists offer limited out of session contact, try to bring forward appointments etc when clients are struggling.
Thanks for this!
Daisy Dead Petals, here today, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, unaluna