Update. Well I am in hospital and just saw my doctor and he put me on Clopixol with Benzadropine(sp.??) to counteract side effects. It is supposed to get rid of agitation. Guess I will see. Last time I took it (year or so ago) I almost fainted but that was a much larger dose. Running out of options as I've tried most AAP or AP and they don't work or produce great weight gain.

My mind is spinning. I panic. I don't want to be here but I know I should. At least for a week anyway. F***, why can't I just calm down and get my brain back so I can get on with my life. Lithium levels were 0.16 so he lowered my dose but I still think its too high. He seemed happy to wait a few days before testing me again. Sigh ... It is so surreal being in this room. I am not supposed to be here. My mind is playing tricks on me again.