Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebicycle
I think it's great that you're realizing a lot of things about yourself! I don't understand myself sometimes, and it's frustrating. It's like I don't know what I want.
What does your new guy think? Does he make you feel special so that you feel you deserve happiness?
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Yes he does, blue. He’s making me question all the negative things I say about myself and the way I’ve trained myself to believe I don’t deserve anything. I haven’t felt this way about anyone since I met my husband back when I was 19. Now we’re taking things slow of course because I’m so ****ed up but he makes me want to get better. Just a month ago I was posting on here about how I was irrevocably damaged and didn’t care anymore. Now I do care. I don’t want to be just a shell of a person anymore. And he makes me feel like it’s possible to face everything that came with my husband’s death; the betrayal, the grief, the guilt...face it all instead of being a bitter angry person for the rest of my life. It’s incredible.
I’m not even hypomanic or drunk today lol.