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Old Mar 21, 2018, 09:14 AM
Anne2.0 Anne2.0 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,132
Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Dear T,
Apparently, I should have spent some time yesterday asking you how to avoid losing my s**t on my D when she's home for a snow day and being very defiant when I have to get some work done, despite staying up till midnight to try to finish it and am also a bit sleep-deprived (freelance work a deadline today = no option for a day off). And I guess, losing my s**t on my H, who is also home (though he claims I haven't lost it on him yet, even though I feel like I have). And I'm afraid her IEP meeting will be rescheduled to a session time with you, and then they won't let us reschedule. Or then, will it be like I'm putting you above D? When really, it's like I'm trying to do the whole "put my oxygen mask on first" thing in terms of my mental health--I'm sure that's probably what you'd say. (And of course I want a drink right now...will attempt to hold off as long as possible.)
LT
Apologies if you don't want feedback in this thread. Just wanted to empathize and say (as someone who has worked at home most of each week) that this is a really difficult situation. My H had an office job so I was always the one who stayed home on school days or when he was sick. He was (and is) a pretty high needs child and I'm pretty high on need for solitude as well as getting work done. It seemed to me like the closer my deadline, the more he interrupted me, and could be extremely charming in his attempts to engage me. Actually this is still true, it's like a closed door and communication around my need to be left alone translates into so many urgent requests like "Mom, could we spend some time together after your work?" and "do you know where the luna bars are?" I try to be humorous in my interactions now, but many a ***** has been lost over the years, and he's almost 17.

And I would also encourage you to put yourself first at least some of the time. It is okay to protect your therapy time from other things that needed to be scheduled. It took me awhile to realize that being ultra flexible while everyone else was protecting certain times from scheduling just screwed myself. I started to try to communicate this idea to my son when he was 3 or 4, "Mom needs some time to herself." And I would shut my office door for 2 minutes (he was usually standing there when I opened it). I gradually expanded the time. Now he says, "I need some time to myself."
Hugs from:
Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight
Thanks for this!
Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight