I don’t think that anyone is able to pretend that they’ve no disorder, but I think that your “wondering if I just stop focusing on my illness,” might be an excellent idea.

Some people, diagnosed with mental disorders, create a kind of life doing nothing but intently focusing upon their disorders, medications and other treatments. I’m always amazed that these folks can rattle off dozens and dozens of meds taken over a decade and can recall exactly how they fared on every single med.

No need to pretend but no reason that you need act impulsively, either. Try to stop focusing on your disorder and just remain aware of it — don’t ‘just do it’ without quickly processing the speech or actions through a filter of your disorders. That doesn’t mean focusing, just awareness.

Good luck — I think that your confusion could be your redemption.