Stop!
You're in the spiral and have to stop it. You're doing damage to yourself to continue this way.
I want you to think about three things you're grateful for. Do it for 5 minutes, or longer if you want. Just those three things. Breathe very slow and very deep the whole time, count 4 on the inhale and again 4 on the exhale. Once you've done this, see how you feel.