Does anyone else feel like they have to avoid a certain person or even a group of people if they seem cold towards you even if you're in a good mood? I sometimes feel the need to do that. It happens to me a lot at work. There is a coworker that has a very negative attitude. Always complains. She will go through quick phases where she will be okay with talking to me and acting very cold. She can cycle through in just a few days. It is so frequent I am now used to it. She can literally come up to me and talk to me like she really cares and likes me and then the next day or so, it is as if she can't stand me for a day or so. And the cycle repeats.

The only thing I do now is when I notice she is in her cold phase towards me, I will avoid her. Not because I'm in a bad mood, in fact in most cases I am actually in a good mood. I avoid her because I don't want her negativity and snappy nature to ruin my day. She has ruined my day in the past and I've learned to try to not let her do it again. There has been numerous times before where she may be in this kind of mood but she will still talk to other people so I figured she will be okay with me talking to her too. But as soon as I start talking to her, she either ignores me or is very short with me. Just with me. With the others, she will complain a lot but still talk to the others in a more friendly manner. And in the cases where she does talk to me, she will gossip about another coworker. Actually, sometimes I wonder if her hot and cold nature also stems from a possibility that she may be talking about me too behind my back.

Could this be an indication that she could be gossiping about me too? Has anyone dealt with someone like this who is hot and cold with you repeatedly? I do get annoyed sometimes where she tries to boss me around, mainly because she is not my boss and even complains when she feels like another coworker is trying to boss her around when it is really not the case. I find this coworker to be not just negative, but possibly very insecure with herself. She is 58 and I'm only 27 so it would be hard for me to tell her politely to stop treating me differently and snapping at me when she doesn't do it to others. I feel like she can easily use that against me and say I was disrespectful. I understand she may prefer to talk to others more than to me, but I feel like she can still treat me with respect better and the fact that she is hot and cold with me may mean something is up.

With my other coworkers, they don't get snappy or cold at me as much, but when I hear them gossiping about others, I do tend to leave and avoid them. If one of them comes up to talk to me, which is rare, I will be nice and talk back but at the same time, I won't go out of my way to talk to them especially if they are gossiping. In fact, even though they claim to all be friends, sometimes I wonder if they really are friends since they gossip a lot. I genuinely wonder if their friendships with each other are more superficial than they claim to be. What other ways would you deal with someone who is hot and cold with you, especially if they are way older than you? It makes me think when people are hot and cold with you like that, it could also indicate that they are gossiping and probably secretly feel guilty, as well as having a bad attitude in general. Just curious at what you thought.