I don't like the "protective" term as it seems to be a false front. Seems more likely to me that it was "control" mode more than anything which is pretty much what I've dealt with (still deal with though not getting into it here) Another similarity in what you describe that I've experienced is the blame game. And I do not mean just the "it's your fault" thing although that's a big part of it, but there's a pattern here. That all the others these people have been with have been at fault seems kind of skewed, doesn't it? makes you wonder or at least should.

In any bad outcome to a relationship we are all at fault to some degree so to some degree, I'm sure you did some things wrong but it rarely if ever is entirely on one person.. maybe more on one side than the other so.. when someone tells you it's all your fault keep that in mind.