Sadly your daughters treatment is the most important. Sounds like your H may have some of his own personal embarrassment knowing what is really going on with your daughter. Better to know & deal with helpung her cope at a young age.

Oh yes, after researching all the issues I had im my own marriage it ALL pointed to the fact that my x- H has undiagnosed ASD (He is 66) & it became obvious with that research that my dad did also. He died way back in 1989 before Aspergers was even known in the US.