I have had a great time hating people all my life, passionately and intensely and judgementally. It almost seemed a way I was trying to form a connection to them, for instance to my alcoholic mom, and guard myself at the same time. it didn't work very well either way. Lately, I have turned my feelings of hate or disgust back to myself, and asked myself which shadow of mine am I projecting on the person, or reacting to the person. For instance, I get really mad when my ex says everything is unfair and that he wants justice. When I turned the spotlight back on me, I realized I felt I have never had anyone in my corner to stand for me. Then I went further and discovered I haven't been standing for myself. Now I feel kinder towards my ex, and can hear underneath his complaining, that he feels no ne has ever stood for him. I am trying to make friends with the parts of me that weren't allowed when I was younger by my parents. Life will be more interesting and fun and the huge emotional charges will go where they belong, to comfort me as a small kid, wanting to belong but feeling I had to compromise what I believed.