Mz jellfluff said:
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You can be happy again tho.. and as idiotic, trite and off-handed as it sounds, all i think you have to do is to stop trying to have every detail worked out before you get there. i know.. easy to say. Once you have the process all figured out... you'll be there. i think therapy is a mystery insofar as we are mysteries to ourselves.

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I get what you are saying here. If I could relax and go with the flow. I would be doing a lot better in Therapy and enjoying life a lot more.
I just can't figure out how to do it. Quaalude's may work :-)

As for let a T lead, what I meant was, I need to stop focusing on the process and what she is doing and accept that she is more knowledgeable about some things and I should trust her suggestions even if I don't understand it yet.