I have a session at 9 am today. I tried being forthcoming last session, but that is how I got the long lecture about how he has the firmest boundaries in town to keep the space safe, and to role model boundaries for all the patients. I dont even think the issue is about boundaries,somuch as what you said about containment and resources, and how I don't feel cared about ending the session in floods of tears, and being sent out into the street . In response to that, I get "reality testing". Like Esme, if you do run into someone you know, do you think they can see inside you and know why you are crying? It could be anything, your dog could have died". This makes me fume. We are having a communication breakdown.

Someone has a TS Eliot quotation on her profile here that I Loveland it makes me think of another one which is my struggle with therapy or at least this T- "Teach us to care and not to care. Teach us to sit still." It is a tricky thing to pretend "as if" there is a relationship that's real, yet hold in mind it isnt. That is hard for anyone, but it is more complex with gender dynamics in play, the power dynamics- the doctor, the patient? That isnt how I see it or want to feel.