Yes, this does sound emotionally and psychologically abusive. Withholding affection and love like that is a form of abuse. Guilt tripping you into sex and making those types of negative comments is abusive. Not being supportive of your feelings and telling you to just get over it is a form of abuse. Whenever you find someone has a jekyll and hyde personality, it an abusive personality.

Frankly, I would start thinking seriously about leaving the relationship. As said above, it is not healthy for you or for the children. Abusive people do not change.