thank you all for your responses, i really appreciate them )
just for update, i'm not taking any med anymore. the reason i stop taking it is only because i dont have time to meet the psychiatrist and my father just doesnt want me to go there anymore (i got a second opinion fr another psychiatrist and he said i didnt need med).
i might experiencing withdrawal syndrome because i had suicidal thoughts that were really intrusive for the past few days but they're getting better by now.

have a great day!