Sorry for taking so long. I am definitely not yet done with this topic. All of my friends and family can't hear any more if it... and I felt that maybe I am over stretching it here , too.
Maybe some of you are right and I just don't want to see. But I always feel that my boyfriend is a good person who has suffered a lot from his parent's divorce when he was really small... he broke of all contact to his biological farther. His mother's second marriage is very happy and something like the perfect archetype of a very intimate and intense relationship. I guess he has a very deep need for security. He wants to trust and be trusted. And e.g. in our last fight when he would mention how I am wasting money when I am renting a room that I am not using... I snapped back that as my he is not willing to be at my place we could instead be seeing each other only every second day. And the last two days he was trying to make me "keep my word" ... He is convinced I would never say something like that if it was not what I wanted.
My natural reaction to this would be to pull away... but what he is craving for is just me showing that I really want this!

You probably have a point. It is just that so often I do things that I can not understand when he confronted me... I would like to start the change in my behavior, but it his hard. Really he is very sensitive... and bullheaded. But only yesterday he told me that I should give him more contra. He is willing to listen and often asks why I did certain things... but most of the time I just can't.